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Life Imperfect

My Word of the Year 2019- Known

Being Known by God

Why the word Known?

I had been thinking about what my word of the year for 2019 was going to be while I was driving to help at the church, and the JoyFM was interviewing Tauren Wells. He began to talk about his reasons for writing his song Known, which at the time was becoming a huge hit.  He told the listeners the story of hearing a Timothy Keller quote about this exact word:

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

My Struggles

Often times I feel lonely. Not because I am alone, I have a great husband and wonderful kids. But because I feel like I am trapped in my own mind, controlled by depression and anxiety, controlled by a body that I am actively fighting against. I feel alone, I feel confused, and I feel self doubt. I put so much pressure on myself to stay on track, on God’s path for me. The pressure that I put myself under in all facets of my life is crippling sometimes. It doesn’t allow for failure. It makes me avoid situations for fear that I will not succeed.  So why try?

The enemy makes me question my purpose.  I hate it when people say, “you just have to be yourself, don’t care what other people think of you.” I don’t think this is true. I think I need to be what God created me to be, which I guess technically is myself, but there is a difference between worldly views of myself and otherworldly views.  I want to be myself, but I need to be happy with myself as well.

What I do know about my truth is that I love myself most when I exhibit the qualities that God gave to me to show His love to others.

My Plan

I want to be known. I want to live knowing that I am known by Him. That He knows me and my heart and my intentions. That my life is His.  God knows me regardless of my flaws and failures I just need to believe that  I am known.

Do you feel you are Known?  The beauty behind this one word, is it doesn’t matter if you feel it or not, you are known and loved by God.  Even when you hate yourself the most, you have a mighty powerful God that loves you.

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