I recently found on Netflix, The Letters, a movie about Mother Teresa’s journey. It was interesting because even though she was obeying a calling from God and doing good work for the people suffering around her, she still felt abandoned by God. She spent her entire life trying to improve the lives of the people around her, choosing to live with them, having faith that she was doing God’s work. She felt abandoned but never forsake the calling that God had placed on her heart. Declining interviews with reporters, stating that her story was boring, that she was just a pencil in God’s hands.

The devotion that she portrayed to the calling she received from God is envious and makes me ask the questions; am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Am I listening to what God is calling me to do for Him? What are my God-given talents and how am I supposed to use them?

These are the questions I have pondered time and time again during these past few months. I have been praying and listening. I have been fearful and questioned what God was asking me to do. I don’t understand why He would choose me, why is my story important enough for the world to hear. But I will trust that He is calling me to do this for a reason, that even if I can serve Him for the sake of one person, then I have succeeded.

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45, NIV)

I am no Mother Teresa, and I am sure that I could never live up to the devotion that she exercised for His glory. I must remind myself that this journey starts with one step, one decision and the only choice is to trust Him. It will not be easy, and I will not be perfect, probably the biggest test of my perfectionist’s brain, but I will obey.

“If you carefully obey the commands I am giving you today, and if you love the LORD your God and serve him with all your heart and soul,” (Deuteronomy 11:13, NLT)

So here it is world, my heart, my struggles, my joy, one post at a time.