Staying true has made its presence known again, Chapter 1 page 6 of The Daniel Dilemma by Chris Hodges.
I’ve carried this book with me since February 22nd, when my husband and I attended the ONE Marriage conference in Gainesville, GA. I had first started to really feel like I was struggling with this internal battle of loving while being utterly frustrated at work, at home with the children, and with myself. So why, since February, not having read at all since then? And I mean nothing but a somewhat daily devotional.
Why today? Why on an airplane back from Baltimore, from my nephew’s graduation? After a weekend of late nights, graduation parties, and feeling out of place. Of wanting to help, but being overwhelmed, of missing my Step-father and his presence. I love my family but I walk into a mess every time I go, and I don’t do anything but criticize what they are doing. I am not loving. I am not accepting. I am judging. I do try to help, but I lack grace and kindness.
So why today?
Clearly, I needed a reminder that the person that was present with my family this weekend was not my “true self.” The person God wants me to be.
“Living out a balanced approach isn’t easy, and it almost always stretches us beyond our comfort zones.” Chris Hodges
So now what?
Do I beat myself up knowing I made a mistake or a few, to be honest? Or… Do I try and remedy whatever damage I have done?
How can I Encourage without criticizing? How can I LOVE, knowing my family is not living their “true self” either?
My love IS encouraging.
“Truth without grace is mean. Grace without truth is meaningless.” Chris Hodges
I need to focus on giving them my love and trying to show them what God’s love looks like so that they, one day, may find their true self. I want them to feel God’s grace and learn how they can focus on what is important in this world.
“Today, perhaps more than ever, we have the privilege of loving others and offering them God’s truth that we’re all sinful and in need of a Savior.” Chris Hodges
Amen Chris Hodges, Amen.